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.....every thing is going dark.....

2009-05-27 23:53:53 by Jestercap13

my lifes taken a bad turn...the animation i had hoped to make one day, the series, shattered, i had so long wanted to create, ive cancled it, put it away because of its difficulty, my grades at school are slipping, last night i had to save my friend from suicide....and today, the girl i loved with all that i am, the one i wanted to spend my life with, the one i though loved me the same, broke my heart and left me......and nothing seems to be going right for me....

im not really sure what to do now, i seem to fail at everything i do, i mean sure call me what you will, ive already beaten myself enough as it is, why not thrown in a few punches, but i just feel like every things crashing down on me.

i should be more hopeful though, hold onto something. all i have now really are my poems and drawings and my worthless half assed flashes.

but i plan to head back to my roots in a way, instead of trying to do the long series, that i had hoped shattered could have become, im going back to simply animating poems.

but my skill has increased phenomenally, i no longer need the guidance of pictures or other artist, now im more free and stronger for it. i plan to make a few more animations, i havent finished and submitted any in nearly a year, and they will distract me from my problems

dont really know why im writing this though, not like anyone knows me on NG, not like any of my flashes are memorable, and its not like newgrounders would be all that interested in what some failure plans to do with his poetry, or who hes trying to help through suicide while managing his own problems and a broken heart. but i suppose just writing about it releases some of the pressure, helps a bit.

whatever, fuck life, its a terrible thing, but it sure beats being dead, lifes being hard to me, maybe i should be hard back. anyways, i guess you could look for something from me in maybe a few weeks or a month. dunno.


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2009-05-30 13:03:43

i feel so sorry for you, i realy do.
and to awnser your question, yes your flashes are memorial, they certenly are!
i should say, do as you seem right and maybe shattered will shake newgrounds in awsomeness another time.
.....just now i can only wish you more luck than the luckyest person on the world and hope that someone will give you that luck....
you certanly need it.